Tuesday, April 16, 2013

He didn't get the job

He didn't get the job.

I just learned this, five minutes ago... My husband called, and I knew from the low, sunken tone in his voice that he was dreadfully unhappy; and when he told me, I realized how much the hope of an offer had buoyed us both for the past six weeks.

Six weeks!  Six weeks since his on-campus interview.  The length of time would have itself crushed our expectations, if there hadn't been significant reasons-- explained to him at the interview, and subsequently-- for extending the search for so long a time. And in that time, we both began to feel invested in that Catholic collegiate community and all of its concerns.  For more than a month we followed the Facebook posts, the Twitter feeds, the student newspaper, envisioning:

A truly Catholic campus, in accordance with Ex Corde Ecclesiae-- Catholic professors and families to be our neighbors, our friends-- their support for homeschooling--  tuition benefits for our daughters, down the road-- the possibility of designing or teaching a course in U.S. Catholic History...  The dream of this is suddenly gone!

Where is my resolution to trust God's Providence?  At the moment, it's overwhelmed by waves of disappointment-- by feelings of rejection, and even (yes) betrayal.  (As if this community owed anything to us....!)

If you can, please say a quick prayer that I'll regain some perspective; and also that I'll be able to emotionally support my husband when he returns home in an hour or so. Right now I am actually crying about this, can you believe it?  I'm crying, and I need to stop and find something else-- some plan for the summer, some organizational scheme or activity for the girls-- to make the future seem more, well, fun.

6 comments:

  1. God bless you! Praying...

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    1. Thank you for your kind response and prayers. It's soothing to feel supported...!

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  2. Oh Rae! How disappointing! I'll pray. Surely God has something even better in mind for your family . . . though it is hard to let go of something that seemed so 'right' . . . I know this feeling!!!

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    1. You understand!! Thanks, Sarah-- I really appreciate the prayers and encouragement!

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